Writing like DFW

http://www.kottke.org/09/03/growing-sentences-with-david-foster-wallace

It's me!!!  Or rather, my writing style* was, at best, a pallid imitation combining the ellipses, non-sequitors, footnotes and densely packed allusions to other, better writers - who I may or may not have read, but how could you know, given the combination of ADHD and speed-reading gone unchecked by the familiar dyad of Ritalin and Adderall that spread virally throughout the 6 - 18 year old segment of the North American population or at least that part of the population with xy chromosomes - but then that particular style of mine was slowly extinguished under the oppressive weight of corporate reports, spreadsheets, marketing reports (such as a white paper (and why white, instead of ecru or the pale blue of bureaucracies past) entitled "Why Your Firms Requires An Enterprise Mobility Strategy Now!" paid for by a German software entity in support of an already out of date product launch) and a general turn towards Orwell's "Politics and the English Language" as a preferred stylistic exemplar.

* Warning - attempt at self-mockery follows. It may be funnier if you've ever read DFW. Or not.